“For there is assuredly nothing dearer to a man than wisdom, and though age takes away all else, it undoubtedly brings us that.”

-Quote from Cicero

I don’t know if it’s just me, but as I age and speedily approach a new decade, I find that I am struggling to make myself relevant. I feel enormous pressure to prove my worth and value to society, my family, and even people who aren’t important in my life.

I feel like I’m almost invisible and that my voice is too small amidst the loud culture that engulfs me.  This dimension value, I feel, has allowed me to make some bad choices.  Instead of doing what I can do and doing that well, I tend to take on more challenging work.  With this inner voice telling me I can do it. I need to do it.  I haven’t changed. I can take on all kinds of tasks.  Don’t get tired, don’t show them your weakness.

Eventually, I make a mess of things.  

Every day, I find myself in a quiet battle with my age, not giving in to the changes with much grace. 

You have to know me to understand that my value and relevance come from work. I have this work ethic that was deeply instilled as a child of hard-working immigrant parents. They never stopped providing and working hard for us kids. So, my brothers and I continue the legacy of hard physical work. With pride, we continue to show the world we are people of value.  

But I find myself tired now, and I don’t have the stamina or the desire to work like that yet; I’m not sure how to move through the next chapters of life without the one thing that gave me meaning.  That’s what I think when I don’t focus on what truly gives life meaning.  It’s not me at all.  I am not relevant, strong enough, or capable enough.  God gives my life relevance. and meaning.  When I think I can do these things on my own, it’s pride talking, and we know what comes after pride.

Psalms 90 woke me up from my pathetic naval gazing (I do that a lot). 

Moses, the writer, points out a few things. 

He beautifully describes God’s power and majesty.

 Moses asks God to teach us to number our days so that we may gain a heart of wisdom vs12. 

That we would feel God’s unfailing love and take joy in this daily. vs14

Moses closes his psalm with this statement that I will take to heart and add to my daily prayer and walk with God ….” establish the work of our hands for us – yes, establish the work of our hands.” Psalms 90:17

 Life always has relevance and meaning not because of us but because of a Gracious God.